Zack surprised me with this. I cried like a baby.
September 10th. 1 year after I lost her. 1 year of pain, confusion, breaking down in the shower…on the way to work…on the way home. A word could send a thousand needles through my heart. Any form of excitement is crushed with the reminder that she isn’t here to be excited with me. To tell me she’s loves me. To tell me it’ll be OK. “No matter what you do in your life I’ll love you for exactly who you are.” “You are so capable.” “We are women. We can accomplish anything.” I had this woman in my life who gave me constant reassurance. Who made me feel like I could make a million mistakes and no matter how much I hated myself she had enough love for the both of us. That’s a kind of person that can keep a person like me alive. But she didn’t have what I did. She didn’t have something to hold onto. I know I failed. I know I could’ve done more. She asked for it, but I ignored the calls. “I can’t talk to her right now. I can’t deal with the drama.” The biggest mistake I ever made, the mistake I’ll never forgive myself for. The mistake that haunts my dreams and keeps me up at night.
September 10th…we’ll dance and drink. I’ll sing along with Britt and fall in love with my city all over again. I’ll remember her telling me that there is nothing quite as great as a live show. “That’s the way we get by.”
Anonymous asked: 100% agree w/the previous poster. You have a lovely exterior:)
Nyehhh anonymous messages but a trillion thank yous anyhow
My view during Hedwig and the Angry Inch last night. At one point NPH was on my side of the stage and noticed me singing along enthusiastically to ‘Wig in a Box’…and nodding his head sang part of a verse pointing right at me. Too surreal.
It was an amazing show. He brought something completely fresh to Hedwig, even in her darkest forms. And Lena Hall…I might’ve just have fallen in love with that woman. Such a wonderful experience that I’ll cherish forever.
Anonymous asked: You are beautiful. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I am asking respectively. If i may : )
Thank you for taking time out to make me smile. I always appreciate little things like that. Currently I’m single. Just taking a break from my last relationship, but keeping everything in a positive perspective!